rape.

http://www.upworthy.com/cnn-pays-touching-tribute-to-the-rapists-who-attacked-a-16-year-old-girl?g=2&c=cd1

"There is a lot of excrement in the air conditioning."
That's my dad's way of saying shit has hit the fan. And it truly has, but not in a way that is beneficial to getting rid of rape culture.

The Steubenville rape case is one of the most notable cases of the current day, IMO. We'll set the scene. One 16 year old girl, having been drugged. Two high school football players (one 16, the other 17) rape her, urinate on her and photograph eachother, before dumping her, naked, in someone's front garden.

Atrocious, correct? 
It gets worse.

They tweet about it, joke about it, and then at least 16 people, who witnessed all or part of the act, refuse to co-operate with the police. Others jump in in support of the two rapists, with some calling for the girl to be punished for under-age drinking. Others stated that the two boys careers have been ruined and that it was atrocious that they were placed on the sex offenders register. CNN reporters (in the link above) discuss how the judge's ruling could destroy these two boys lives....

Is it just me, or are they missing something here? The fact that this girl, drunk or sober, was raped. Repeatedly. By people she trusted. And that for the rest of her life, she will potentially have panic attacks and PTSD, that she may not be able to trust another man, perhaps ever.

When will this culture of blame end? When will the blame be put on the rapist, and not the victim. There are people tweeting about how "it was her fault, she was wearing a short skirt!", "it was her fault, she was drunk". If you're wearing tight jeans, and I come along and rape you with a dildo, is that your fault? Because you were wearing clothing which drew attention to your figure? No. It would be my fault, because I would be the rapist in that situation. If you're drunk, and I rape you, whos fault is that? Yours? Because you've drank too much? Or mine, because I've taken advantage of your vulnerability and raped you.

Despite how much I long to, I will not wish harm on these boys. I will not hope they get raped in jail. I will not hope that they kill themselves. I will hope that they serve as a lesson to people. We all have responsibilities. Women, and men, get raped every day across the world. Men, and women, rape every day. We all have a responsibility to be careful, to not get drunk to the point of passing out, to not accept drinks off strangers. But if none of us got drunk, and none of us took drinks off strangers, would there still be rape?

Yes. Of course there would. Because most rapists aren't strangers, and most rapes happen when neither party is drunk.

Rather than teaching blame, and responsibility on the part of the victim, how about we teach responsibility and respect on the part of the rapist. Blaming the victim for someone forcing themselves upon them is counter-intuitive. If someone mugs you in the street, it's the muggers fault, not yours. If someone rapes you, it's their fault. They are the ones to take responsibility, regardless of whether you were wearing a short skirt, or high heels, or were wearing make-up or whatever bullshit excuses defence lawyers give.

Lets set out some rules, yeah?
If she's too drunk to consent, it means no.
If she's asleep, it means no.
If she hasn't said yes, it means no.
If she is crying, it means no.
If she asks you to stop halfway through, you stop.

There were over 65,000 rape cases estimated in the UK last year. Less than 25% of those were reported to the police. Less than 20% of the cases reported went to trial. Less than 40% of those cases resulted in a conviction. That means that only 1.6% of rapists are convicted.

A friend of mine was raped about a year back. She's a strong girl, both physically and mentally. She went to the police pretty much as soon as it happened, after phoning her sister. The police refused to pursue the case because, in her state of shock, she got two minor facts the wrong way round. Initially she said she rang her sister and then the police, and in her second statement, she rang the police and then her sister. The officer in charge refused to pursue the case due to "conflicting statements". Her rapist? Her boss' husband.

You tell me that it was her fault. You tell me that it was because she was drunk, or wearing revealing clothing, or because she was in a bad area.