a new start.

gosh its been a while. so much has happened that i barely know where to begin...
im a chef now. a trainee, baby chef, but a chef nonetheless. i've wanted to do this for years, create dishes that speak words your mouth cannot, give a taste of home when home is a million miles away. cheffing, food, is not just a job for me. its a career. at the moment, no, i'm not doing that. i'm not soothing hurts with a perfect souffle. i'm not celebrating a new job/baby/marriage/achievement with steaks. im chopping potatoes for five hours non-stop, but that's ok. i'm learning, i'm growing, i'm absorbing.

last night (tuesday night) was my first time in a real, honest-to-god professional kitchen. it was exciting, terrifying and challenging all rolled up in one. i stood at the very end, next to the handwash sink and just watched. absorbing anything and everything i could, from the way the dishes were prepped, to how the order system worked. steve, my head chef, is amazing. rarely in the world of famous chefs will you find a head chef willing to roll up his sleeves and help the kitchen porter wash the dishes, but that's what he did last night. he works us hard, he pushes us past where we're comfortable into new and unfamiliar territory, but just based on last night? this is a man i'm willing to stick with for a long time.

i've learned a lot in the past two days. i've learned that there's nothing more tedious than paperwork (not even chopping potatoes for five hours could convince me of that). i've learned just how hard working full-time can be for someone who has never had to do it before. i've learned that most chefs just want to see the new guys succeed, as there's never a shortage of jobs in this industry. and i've learned that communication is the most important thing in a kitchen.

i'm finding my voice, and my feet, slowly but surely. in three months time, i might decide that professional cheffing is too hard, or too much work for me. but i doubt it. it is hard work. my house is a bombsite because i've not had the energy or motivation to tidy since i started training. the past few meals have been freezer meals or we've eaten out, partially out of tiredness on my part. but we're learning. we're finding our groove, and we're growing in it.

and all the time, God has been there. the voice reminding me why i don't swear in the kitchen. the voice telling me to speak about Him, to not be fearful. i feel closer to Him in a busy, sweaty, crowded kitchen than i do in a church sometimes, and i love that.

k.