I'm sorry.

Elgin John was right when he sang that sorry seems to be the hardest word. It is.  In saying sorry, you're often saying a lot more. You're admitting you were wrong. You're admitting to having flaws that can, and do, hurt people. People that you love. People that you care about. 

So I'm sorry readers. I'm sorry for neglecting you. I'm sorry that my intention when I started up this blog wasn't to document my life, but to try and develop enough of a readership that I could make money from it. I wanted to be popular, well-liked and admired by complete strangers on the Internet. Complete strangers who will never meet me in person, who will never see that 99.99% of the time my home is a complete mess and I'm shouting at my husband and he hasn't done the dishes and I haven't rang my mother in at least two weeks because I'm a neglectful daughter. None of that comes out on this, because I have complete control over what appears here. And sometimes it's to my own detriment; this blog only keeps going when I work on it. It only receives a breath of fresh air when I give it one. So much of my time is whiled away on things like Instagram and Pinterest, wishing that my home, my life, looked like that, rather than going and doing and living. 

So why has my blog been dead recently? Because, alongside other things, my attitude has sucked. I have wanted so many things to just fall into my lap, and whilst God is always faithful to His promises, He doesn't reward laziness. I'll give you a breakdown of what my life has looked like recently to help you understand. 

9:00 AM -11AM - wake up

11:30AM - get up and shower and do all the bits that come with getting up

1PM - meet a friend for coffee/play minecraft

4PM - eat lunch, then continue playing minecraft

7PM - Chris gets home

8PM - eat dinner

9PM - play minecraft/watch TV

11PM - go to bed

I'm sleeping a considerable amount more than I need to, I'm not setting any time aside to spend with God, I'm not being a servant hearted homemaker and I'm spending wasaaaasy too much time on minecraft. I'm not looking for a job despite the fact I need one, because I'm stubborn. I'm stubborn and I'm lazy and it frustrates me to no end that this is the thing I keep screwing up on. I keep screwing up my sleeping patterns, I keep saying I'll look for a job and then never bother, and I keep saying that I'll get my act together, and I haven't. 

So this is my pledge. To start living life in a realistic way. To be honest, and open about what I struggle with. To be more proactive and less reactive. 

And to get a job. Because there's not going to be any tiny Hatelys until I have one. 

Thank you for your patience with me. Thank you for your support. 

K.